Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
