You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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