Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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