Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
