You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
