Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
