butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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