ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
sex in a hospital.. check
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
