Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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