zippers are such a cool invention
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How does it feel to date your dad?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
