So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
