ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
