my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
