I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
