Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize