so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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