I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
