I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
