If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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