im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
