I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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