come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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