Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
