Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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