The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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