i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
