Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize