At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
