I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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