help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
