Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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