quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
