giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
