Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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