So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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