If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
