Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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