I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
