Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
