I'm really into asian looking animals
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
