I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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