I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
