good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Someone came in the potted fern
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize