Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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