I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
