Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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