brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
