No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize