1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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