Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
