Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
