there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
