how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize