For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
