Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
