Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
