Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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