I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
