for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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