Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
