Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
