I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
