I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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