I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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