Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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