If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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