we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
