It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
