He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
