dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
