Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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