Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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