Pants 0. Shit 1.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
